Trimming the fat

This morning my employer voted to approve proposed budget cuts for next year. Last month I was told (on Friday the 13th no less) that the elimination of my position was part of that proposal. So now it's official. The party line is that lay-off letters will go out in January. I'm in a union, so that means I have "bumping rights"--the right to take someone's job if i have more seniority than them.

Yippee!

Nah, I'm kidding, I have no qualms about taking someone's job, it's kill or be killed at this point. The problem is that even though my current job sucks, it's looking mighty fine compared to what else is available. I don't want to be stuck working at some counter. I should come with a disclaimer to potential supervisors "Caution, do not let JJ deal with the public". It's hard enough to hold my tongue with the idiots I work with, let alone the great unwashed.

The whole situation is just such a piss off. After my job and the jobs of the other lucky people in my department are gone, there will be four managers for 18 people. A little top heavy maybe?? And that's not including "assistant managers" and "supervisors". Christ, once I'm gone, there will be a manager and a supervisor for the 3 remaining staff in my work group. What is that ratio?? And you know what really frosts my ass? My manager never even graduated high school. She has said her greatest accomplishment in her life is getting her GED. She's a 3 x 3---three kids by three different men--although, to her credit, she did marry the last one, in a resplendent ceremony in the middle of a field, complete with white cowboys hats, boots and white, plastic-framed sunglasses. Oh, and the bride's sister lovingly threw her into a 'crick'. Thank god I wasn't invited.

So why don't I get another job? Well, somewhat like my acting career, I can't get a job interview to save my life. When I first moved to BC at the tender age of 22, I couldn't even get an interview at Superstore (my roommate got the job by the way). By some stroke of luck, I finally got a job at Safeway (take THAT Superstore!) but I could only get about 8-10 hours work per week. Nearly all my paycheque went to rent. Luckily enough, I had access to the expired junk food staff were allowed to take (it was all going to be trashed anyway). I swear, I lived off stale Pork Rinds alone for one week.Another time, walking home from work, I stopped at Wendy's and bought a single piece of cheese for $0.25 cause that's all I could afford. Good times.

And so, I am crippled by the belief that I am un-hireable, that I need to hang on to steady employment, no matter how unpalatable it might be. It's a conundrum. I'm so focused on keeping my shitty job that I have no energy to look for a new one, and no confidence that I could get something better in any case. I wish i could be like those happy idiots I work with, content to put in my time until paroled into retirement.

Someone needs to shoot me. Now.