No snark

No snarkiness today. Just sadness. I'm gutted.

Just when i allow myself to think that maybe, just maybe, it's all been worth it, that all the pain in my life has prepared me and brought me to this point of impending joy--the universe seems to slap me in the face and say "Silly JJ for thinking that something could work out for you". Yes, Debbie Downer here again. I'm just so tired of this soul loneliness, this ache that's hidden so deep that even i don't know where it lies. And then, a sliver opens a crack, and it all pours out and i feel all the sadness i've ever felt or will feel in my life, all at once, and i'm scared i will never stop crying.

When does the karma happen? The promise that all good things come to those who wait?? The confident assurances that yes, it will happen for me, because i deserve it? How long should i wait?

And yet, i know i'll be fine come Monday. This is, after all, something i am very familiar with. I'll dust myself off and lift my chin and carry on, like i always do. Until the next time....