Tis the season...

Ahhhhhh, Christmas (or "the Holidays"). A time of love, family, magic, joy and celebration.

**snort**

I'm sitting here, the Yuletide log roaring on my TV, a couple of strings of Christmas lights wound around my lamp and the (fake) fireplace mantel. I actually went to hang a wreath my mom made for me a few years back, but i can't find it. I don't think i would have thrown it out, but who knows anymore? I used to have a fake Christmas tree, but i sold it on Craigslist. I'm all about the Season.

I think the number one question at this time of year is "Have you done all your Christmas shopping?" If i hear that one more time, my head's going to pop off and roll down the street. I don't Christmas shop. Well, i buy stuff for myself, but not for anyone else. That's ok, because i hate getting presents. As long as i don't get any gifts, it's all good. I think that this might be a weird thing about myself, but i'm not sure. I know that when my mom took me to see Santa when i was little, i could never ask for anything. I'd be sitting on Joe Blow's bony,velvet lap, as he chortled "What do you want for Christmas? Ho ho ho!" --- and i was mute. I couldn't say what i wanted. Even at that young age, i knew that if you never wanted anything, you could never be disappointed (yeah right).

Don't get me wrong, i've enjoyed some Christmases. A few years ago some sisters came out West and it was great. Another time, my mom and i went back East, and it was cold. Last year, my sister, her husband and daughter, and one of my other sisters were going to spend Christmas at my place. It went without saying that there would be no turkey dinner (the closest i have gotten to having a turkey dinner here is the Safeway roast chicken carcass i have in my fridge right now). But things didn't go as planned. My mom and i got stranded in LA due to the snow storms, my sisters' flights kept getting cancelled and by the time mom and i arrived home at 3:30am Christmas day, we were spent. Christmas dinner last year was pasta. And it actually suited me just fine.

This year will be a non-event too. Mom and i are headed for a cruise on the 27th, so she won't travel to my place until Boxing Day. Which means i am on my own. That's another question that's going to implode my head, "So what are you doing for Christmas dinner?" I can't tell the truth because then i get the "face", that awkward mix of pity and confusion, the mental battle being fought in the person's head as to whether to offer up their home on a sacifricial platter. Umm, yeah, no thanks. Truth be told, i am ok with it. My Christmas dinner will be lobster on a cruise ship in Mexico. What's to complain about?

Now excuse me, i have to go put another log on the TV fire.