Shiny happy people

I hate happy people.

Yeah, I went there. I just got an email from a friend with pictures of her new baby. A year and half ago, she was a bitter, single gal like myself. Since then, she met a man, got engaged, got married, got pregnant and had a baby. I haven't even gotten laid in that time frame. Seriously, I was pondering this the other day and I figured out that I have spent more time being single and celibate than I have spent being in a relationship (and allegedly having sex). I actually can’t remember the last time I had sex—I think it was in Oct 2007 but I’m not sure. Does that mean I am a born again virgin? I tell you, a junior tampon would probably send me over the edge right about now. But I digress…

So yeah, back to hating happy people. It seems I am the last one standing in my group of friends to be happily entwined. My other last, single, bitter friend went on eHarmony, met a man, bought a house and is now engaged. I tried eHarmony--all I got were farmers who study the Bible in their spare time and play with their trains. I wish that was a euphemism for something other than actually playing with small, metallic objects, but no. One match, when asked how he likes to spend his leisure time, had this to say (spelling mistakes left as is):

During my leisure time I work on my physical appearence so that I can always be ready when the lucky women steps into my life.


I must have been very, very bad to someone in a past life. That's the only explanation i can come up with.